the big 2.

no i didnt miss a number.and yes,i am in denial.but either wayyy,i am THIS excited for today and the rest of the week,that i am up at this hour.or it might be the heat that made me uncomfortable therefore i woke up.but i think the former sounds better.

laaaadeeeeedaaaaaa.

thanks for all the wishes,for all the reminders that i am old,for the one and only call from the noisy lovely bunch(appreciated),for all the presents whose pictures i shall upload soon,for the surprises that i know and dont know of,for the smile that was plastered on my face when i slept and for the smile that is still here.

me love yous.

(((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((:





3 days late.

all that I am or ever hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.i love you.

2 days later.

it'll be the 15th.reservation's at 1pm,baby.and if you dont mind,may we put whatever happened behind us?i am dead tired.and im sure so are you.

take me back to the stars;





this love aint gonna be perfect;i know sometimes it's going to rain.

we havent been all that great now,have we?we have passed through so much due to our own egos and terrible petty thoughts.never would we have guessed that both of us would go through these phases together;at each other.i used to make you smile,no matter what i did or said.now i cant seem to do it.i used to make you laugh,no matter what i did or said.now i cant seem to do it.i used to make you sleep without holding anything against anybody.now i cant seem to do it.whatever i used to do,i am not able to anymore.and that frustrates the hell out of me.

i want to be the last person on your mind before bed and the first one that pops out when you wake.i want to be the one who holds you and tell you everything is going to turn out alright.i want to be that one person who gets to stroke you to sleep when nightmares strike.i want to be only one who gets to taste your kisses,caress your body.i want to be the one you lock fingers with.i want to be your other half,not your better half,just someone who fits.cause i know i cant compare to you.i want to be so much not cause im being paranoid.i just dont want us to slip.i dont want to tighten my grip not knowing that you have let go.i dont want to do this alone.i dont want to convince myself alone.i want you.i need you.i said it so many times i sound desperate,but i do.

you and i both know ive let my guard down.i should have a firmer hold of my own feet but i stripped myself cause i knew ive kept quiet for too long and you deserve to know.and since you already do,i dont see a point in shutting you out.so this is me.and it's all yours.

open book.





i am a disappointment.

nothing more.nothing less.

and that hurts,baby.





tell me what the fuck is wrong.

please,just tell me.

i need to fucking know before i lose my senses.





windows live messenger.

when i get bored i see what people's personal messages are.then i try to link them up.haha.it is kinda fun to do know.like when you have nothing else in your mind to binglebongle about.heh.so i linked

1.you belong with me with oh,so-not
2.i remember waiting with stupid
3.a little too much with independence and responsibility

the last one of course sounds perfectly fine.but the first two made me smile for abit.haha.my friends have the bestest personal messages.me likey.haha.and there was one i read but i didnt really want to ask about.im sure you people go through this,yes?ya.well just letting you know that comparison with someone else always pushes the right nerves for a pissed-off moment.but im always here to tell you that you are the greatest;brain beauty and all.and you should firmly believe that you are too.

the birds in my neighbourhood are have an all out meeting.they are by the window sills screeching thier voices out.determined to get their message across.i can hear them and this one in front of me has been screaming since the meeting started.i guess it has alot to say.maybe if i understood what it was,i could agree or disagree.but what do i know about birds.haha.oh and i dont see pigeons included.RACIST AH.hahaha.

the 74 year old is out with the boyf well not really but i dont know what to call them.hehehe.the HOT one has school.yea believe it or not.i dont know if the swings are here but when you want to,you know my number.im positively sure you do.im going out later for jyoti's birthday in which i have 5 hours to burn til then.so i should get a crystal ball that can tell me what to do.yes?

dad's sick.i hope he caught nothing serious.TSK.SHOO SICKBUG SHOO.

zomg.it is actually the MAY.please please let this be nice and smooth.please please.my butt is going to get sore if we go through more bumpy roads consecutively.will you rub my butt with sores-go-away oil?huh baby huh?hehe.either way,i love you.and if my butt is really going to get sore,i dont care.we are unstoppable babyyy.i'll figure out maths and econs for you too.haha.and we will rule the worlddd.haha.well okay not really.but we will travel the world.heh.and i'll never let you down.ever.

cause whenever it feels like slipping,we'll tighten our grip.





inhale.

i dont know what came over me.i dont know if i want to actually find out.one day we are going to get tired of this but i dont us to get tired of each other.we might have just started but we go back years.that is not worth losing.at all.i'll get my act together and this thing we have to overcome shall be overcome.i love you too much.maybe that is a problem i overlooked.but i cant control this.not by myself.i need you.i hate relying on people.but i need you.

i might take out my eyes,but im far from blind.i might shut my ears,but im far from being deaf.i might turn my heart to ice,but im far from a tyrant.things i see and hear might not be to my liking.but i only have this once to live and im not going to make my life sad and miserable.cause when my arms hold you and my knees unbuckle,nothing else matters.

i really outdid myself this time.i feel constricted.i feel suffocated.all by me.these walls are tired of my emotions.im a complicated mess.but you do a good job in untangling.and for that,my love,i thank you.

love is spoken not by the tongue but by the heart.love is heard not by the ears but by the soul.

exhaled.












waking hours.

my brain and body decide to wake myself up at the most random-est of times.like now,i am awake before 10 and i have no school.when i do finally have school which is at 12,i wake up at 11 and it'll take like a bit more time for me to know i am late.i am disastrous.haha.

TALKING OF DISASTROUS.NADIAH AL-ANSARI,HOW IN THE WORLD DID I GET A CALL FROM LAILA(well,that is not the disastrous part),TELLING ME THAT YOUUUUUU ARE IN THE HOSPITAL WITH A BROKEN PINKIE!?!?!?HUH HUH HUH?!how the heck did you actually injure yourself in ubin?huh huh huh?your cycling license should be revoked.you caused damage to some bushes,i hear.tsktsktsk.we are going to visit you later.and please please do take care.aiyo.silly thing.heh.

i am not actually sure if it's going to rain but it sounds like it and is beginning to look like it.haha.well i hope it does.past few days feel like we were in a sauna.sheesh.heh.eyy i think i need to do something with my sleeping positions uhhh.my shoulder aches like mad.or am i just getting old?haha.no no.i stomp my feet and refuse to believe that.haha.

okay.time to bathe.haha.no really.i am going to bathe at this hour of the day when i just woke up.although i normally do not bathe til i catch some telly.but not this time.i have stuff planned out.and if i watch tv,the stuff doesnt usually happen.haha.okay done.

i dont need you to know the catalyst,just hold me;





about a girl.

she didnt listen to me when i said the great world city shuttle does not come to pasir ris.but she took it and got lost.so she didnt go to the course she was supposed to and came home.she was appalled by the number of people queueing at uniqlo in tamp1 cause they just look silly waiting in line.she bothered to follow my directions to some eating place i wanted her to try.she actually made my day yesterday cause i was bored and i wanted something,anything to do.and now she wants me to set up a facebook account for her.hmmmm.well,say hi to my mum the next time she logs on.ROFLMAO.

hahaha.so anyway,i think my throat is beginning to itch again.tsk.me no likey.i feel sick.tsktsktsk.ive been hungry alot these few days.AM I GROWING?!haha.yea right.ive dreams of growing but at the tender age of 20,heh,i think my bones have said enough!i tired!but you can stiil feed tumtum.it gladly wants to grow.zomg.my bones want me to be fat.haha.and i am actually talking about them.i am going insane.i need a job.haha.

laila's post said this somewhere in the end.
alright . need to get my phone, it's ringing . hee .
hahahahahahahahahaha.whaaaaaat?she cracks me up.hahahaha.or maybe it's just me.but still.haha.EK EHHHH!I SMELL POPCORN!but i dont see any popcorn stand.it just rained though.RAIN NOW SMELLS OF POPCORN!?WHEEEWHOOO!heh.ive been high since last night and i have no idea what hit me.haha.

dad's birthday is coming up and i have yet to get him something.heh.

i think it would be cool or kewlxz if my life was in a remote control.i''d stay on my favourite channel all the time and when it gets to commercial,i'd change to something else.and and when there's horror or or like scary stuff,i'll turn it off.then i'll turn it on again.like when there's cartoons and comedy and like sappy love movies.and i am again blabbering.so i shall go and watch tv.if i see my life on tv, i'll be calling myself stupid for all the stupid things ive done.heh.now i wouldnt want that.haha.

4th.





time.

LOOK AT WHAT TIME IT IS!!ZOMG.it is 4+ in the bloody morning balls although the timing is wayy off.haha.and i just finished my online assignment.graahh.i took naps inbetween studying,i had a splitting headache on one side,an irritated throat,a blocked nose and information to stuff in my head.that truly meant,i studied.hahaha.well i hope whatever i wrote is sufficient.no no actually i hope i pass.i do no want to have another of arthur soh's lecturers.and lo and behold he will be in charge of our internships.lets save us the trouble and let us do the pick.heh.

you.

i dont mind your sudden change of moods cause ive come to terms with it.handling it might not my forte but at least sensing it is a good thing.all of us gets those days and some of us get them more than we bargained for.but please just know that life is not all that bad.i know you were letting off steam and i know today or well yesterday was bleahhh.but i assure you,your life is not fucked up.really.and even so,i'm still here.so what's fucked up in yours will be in mine.but i see nothing to be brooding over.nothing to be thinking too much on.it's just one of them days.you''ll get over it.and i still love you. nah la.haha.



ME HUNGEREYYYY!!i am turning into a pig.in which i rememebered i watched charlotte's web today or yesterday.okay this today yesterday thing is getting to me.haha.

i'll sing you a smile;





reboot.

march drained me out like a leech.the whole month was about planning and executing.it was a ball,really.but it saw me through exhausted days and burnt out nights.in which caused a slip in you and me.i had no time for you and you had no time for me.although we were together,it felt like we werent.we had a blinding distance in us that we knew was present but we had no time to note.everyday we had each other but we couldnt feel us.to tell you the truth,i thought the only thing i was holding on was a belief that you might still want to.and i didnt tell you cause of all the many other thoughts i have that you deem nonsensical.so ignorance was bliss.i didnt want to think i didnt want to know.i just wanted to move along.

the one time you wanted me to speak,i failed.i didnt want you to think i was paranoid.i didnt want you to think i doubted you.i didnt want you to think i was failing us.but it was a relief you told me what you did.it lifted a weight that was embedded in my head.and so we'll work on us now,if you dont mind.heh.

OI NAD!hehehehe.congrats congrats for successfully entering nyp.have fun.play safe.take care.and YOU BETTER STUDY AH!see see guy all.slap you uh.and pass your tp hor.then i got 2 chauffers.ahhhh.the life babyyyy!muahahaha.

mann,im smelly.

all mine,all yours,all ours;





beautiful.














updated a day late.

happy birthday baby.sorry for the birthday lunch instead of breakfast.muahaha.and i hope i got you what you wanted.heh.so here goes the usual.i hope God has your name in His good books and panjangkan your umur and murahkan your rezeki.haha.and i know i texted the exact same thing to you.haha.but nevertheless,i still hope it happens.heh.and i hope your party later will be awesome and i hope you'll have fun.if i cant be there,im sorry.i shall never incorporate half a packet of fox,ice-cream,indian sweets,chocolate and that turkish thing mum bought that was awfully good but sweet into my 3 meals a day.mann.that was all i ate that day minus lemon biscuits and a hotdog.haha.someone should limit my sugar intake.

the past week was like work.haha.but dont get me wrong.it was doing something that i loved.i could go out with a destination in mind and an errand to accomplish.i had to sit in a car and look at what is going on outside and sometimes i could stick my head out and feel the wind gushing to my face.i had things to do,people to talk to and nothing to worry about.well except for what im going to wear and such.but other than that,i did all those mentioned with lyla.and i love time spent with that little woman.the whole week was all about managing her party.and im sure it'll be paid-off.

so anyway,im going to crash for awhile and try to self-medicate my throat.bleahh.baby,have a great party.have a wonderful time turning 20.eat proper,eat more,dance like there's no tomorrow and sleep well.i love you.




they dont know how long it takes,waiting for a love like this.





it's not like ive got anything to do.dont bother reading.really.it's those 4 in the mornings banter.

IF SOMEONE SAYS "IS THIS OKAY" YOU SAY?
So Sorry,It's Over - Blink 182

WHAT DO YOU LIKE IN A GUY/GIRL?
Womanizer - Britney Spears (yea,sureeeeeeeee)

HOW DO YOU FEEL TODAY?
Shake It - Sean Paul

WHAT IS YOUR LIFE'S PURPOSE?
My Space - Don Omar ft Wisin y Yandel

WHAT IS YOUR MOTTO?
This Aint A Love Song - Bon Jovi

WHAT DO YOUR FRIENDS THINK OF YOU?
Labels or Love - Fergie (jyeahh babyyy!)

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR PARENTS?
Homecoming - Kanye West ft Chris Martin

WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT VERY OFTEN?
What Makes A Man -Westlife

WHAT IS 2+2?
Love Me For A Reason - Boyzone (if only i could answer this in maths class)

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR BEST FRIEND?
Forgive Me - Leona Lewis

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THE PERSON YOU LIKE?
Hate Me Now - Nas & Beenie Man

WHAT IS YOUR LIFE STORY?
Beautiful Liar - Beyonce (thanksss.)

WHAT DO YOU WANT TO BE WHEN YOU GROW UP?
Rollin - Limp Bizkit

WHAT DO YOU THINK WHEN YOU SEE THE PERSON YOU LIKE?
One Wish - Ray J

WHAT DO YOUR PARENTS THINK OF YOU?
Love Like Honey - Pretty Ricky

WHAT WILL YOU DANCE TO AT YOUR WEDDING?
Nice Girls - Kevin Little (im sure the makciks and pakciks will shake it :)))

WHAT WILL THEY PLAY AT YOUR FUNERAL?
Used to Love You - John Legend

WHAT IS YOUR HOBBY/INTEREST?
Stupid Cupid - Mandy Moore

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR FRIENDS?
My Everything- 98 Degrees (my mp3 loves you too)

WHAT'S THE WORST THING THAT COULD HAPPEN?
November Rain - Guns N Roses

HOW WILL YOU DIE?
Enter Sandman- Metallica

WHAT IS THE ONE THING YOU REGRET?
Lady Marmalade - All Saints

WHAT MAKES YOU LAUGH?
Time To Let Go - Marcos Hernandez (oh this is contradicting)

WHAT MAKES YOU CRY?
Girl On TV - LFO

WILL YOU EVER GET MARRIED?
Shotgun Wedding - Panic! at the Disco (uh oh.that's something to Panic! about)

WHAT SCARES YOU THE MOST?
He Wasnt Man Enough For Me - Toni Braxton

DOES ANYONE LIKE YOU?
Girl of My Dreams - The Moffats (oh really baby?you dooo??hahaha)

IF YOU COULD GO BACK IN TIME, WHAT WOULD YOU CHANGE?
This I Swear - Nick Lachey

WHAT HURTS RIGHT NOW?
I Miss You - Incubus

i realised i have many many sappy love songs.zomg.AND CHIN YING YING I STEAL THIS.hahaha.





double mint.

ive been popping these pellets every other day eversince nadd gave them to me.haha.and i thought it'll be awhile til i get my next bottle but last night,the brother asked me along to go jb.and so here i am,with 2 more bottles in hand,the happy goober.muahahaha.i dont even know if that line made sense.haha.but i get it somehow.haha.

today was well actually still is,a lazy saturday.it poured in the noon and i was passing the time with my electronic lover,the telly.mann i can get glued on that thing for the whole day.haha.i am a pig.i know.but i decided to pass the torch.haha.parents wants to watch the manchester and liverpool match.hmm i have a gut feeling that manchester's going to lose.or it'll be a draw.haha.soccer is one of those things on tv that i can never understand.never.at all.gee.

oh oh i had vanilla coke flavoured sheesha last night.haha.it was surprisingly good.haha.but i wasnt feeling all to well though.and brother's driving did not help one bit.i thought i was going to puke.bleah.and on the topic of driving.grragh.the tp is just there.like just next thursday and im already starting to pee in my pants.please please please God,help me through this.and through the test in school i have on friday.please please please.

okayy.i dont know what im going to do for the next couple of hours til i fall asleep.well not exactly a couple.but you know.somewhere along that.haha.i have no entertainment tonight.cable's taken,i dont know where my brother put the dvds we bought last night so i might ruffle through his bedroom,im sure mediacorp aint showing nothing much and the brother took his psp.boo.

my silly idiot is out partying with the relatives.me miss silly idiot.HARROE SILLY IDIOT?ME MISS YOU.hahaha.hope you're having fun.and dance til you drop babyy.dance se pe chance padele.hahaha.however it's spelt,whatever it means.haha.

standing in the light of your halo;





love story.

6 years.that was how long i kept everything hushed.we've had our own make ups and break ups.and we had our trust,faith and sincerity given to someone else before.in which we were true and there was never a second guess.but in those we have also screwed up and found no point in continuing.and each time i picked up the pieces,you came to mind.not that i was looking for someone to have a rebound on or some fling i can toss,but someone who can help me piece myself together.im not relying entirely on you cause it's best to rely on oneself.but a helping hand is never a bad thing.

i was terrified of breaking your heart.i was totally afraid you'd run me over with a car.well not literally but you know our past and surroundings.it didnt seem like we were going to happen.but you held that key and i couldnt stop myself.i know we hurt a few people in the course of making you and me into us,for that,im sorry.

we happened.my heart's still smiling and i dont wish to get over this glee.you are my strength,my weakness.you take away my fears and you you keep the nightmares at bay.you lift my sprits and you make my wildest dreams come true.you calm me.you coax me.you make me as comfortable as you can and as i want to be.you give and take.you forgive my stupidity,my ignorance.you make everything clearer.you make everything right.you make me feel blessed.you let me feel what it's like on top of the world.you let me be a kid yet you know when to take me seriously.you make smile like a senile idiot.you showed me the definition of love.you showed me the definition of us-just you and me.

anyhow,you'll be within me.

:))


it's my heart and it's going gone away;





we were built this way.

or it might just be me.either way i know we go through that much obstacles God passes down to us.and everything happens for a reason;no matter how cliched that sounded like.every birth,death,blink,wink,heartbeats,heartbreaks.and for every reason,a choice was made.and for the reason of love,im glad we chose to stick by each other.ive put you through so many rough patches and bumpy roads.sometimes,i want to bury my head underground and just have that moment of peace and think.no,not think.to exhale.ive been holding my breath for so long hoping you wont give up.and i am still holding on.cause i dont know if ive pushed you too far.i dont know if you'd walk away.and no,im not doubting you,though it sounds like i am.i just am clueless.cause i always thought it was all or nothing.or i might have to grow up.

rain makes me emo-fried.but i like the rain.been a while since i saw droplets of water slowly trickle then quickly slip.i missed feeling rain on my head and body.okayy.i really think the warmth of last week completely fried my brain.completely.

nadd's leaving laila and i to go to malacca at the end of the week.which is also the end of the month.february always seems to fly so fast.it just seemed last week was the end of january.boo.tomorrow is laila's last paper and i wish you all the best.no worries and please dont panic.you'll do fine just like how you did for so many other papers.zomg.i have school on friday.i tend to forget that.bleah.

and with this vow;





technology.

i feel so low turning to this to reply but i know facing you would be so so hard.im not trying to run away neither am i wanting to hide.but i cannot do this.i cannot keep hurting the you,me,the people surrounding us and her.ive put you people through alot.ive said so many sorrys that meant each more than the last one.and i dont want the meaning to be blurred.i firmly believe what it means and i stand by that.

i loved you.i loved you so so much.i didnt want to seperate from you.i wanted us to go visit MrCheesyMoon and the MilkyWay made of milk.i remember all the places we wanted to go.i remember what we had.i remember so many first's.i remember your birthday at sentosa.i remember our fits.i remember our arguements.i remember sunflowers.i remember 6226.i remember all the times you covered my butt at work cause you knew i was so so worn out.i remember my 7 months in waiting.i remember my friends thinking i was going crazy.i remember your innocence.i remember your pain.i remember pudgy.i remember green.i remember cats.i remember yew tee and how we bumped into your mum.i remember every detail of what we had.but i also remember we are over.

im sorry for making you feel like shit.im sorry for making you anticipate for my texts,my calls.im sorry for disrupting your life,your art,your thoughts,your feelings,your mishmashed brain.im sorry for letting you have hope that we'll be pieced back together.im sorry for not being there.im sorry for avoiding so much of what you wanted to show me.im sorry for ignoring the fact that you are right there infront of me;being so much in pain.im sorry for not being able to cure you.im sorry for making you hate me.no,im not sorry for that.i deserve your every bit of hate.but im sorry for not catching you in the end.i am so sorry.

if you die before you wake,i'll do all those you mentioned.i will.cause at least i know i made you the least bit happy.at least i know you didnt go with a stab in your heart with my name written all over it.at least i know,for that moment,i made your day.and i will cry for you.im not human if i dont.and i have feelings that confirm that.

dont compare me to your suitors.dont compare me to those who caught your eye.im not someone you want to compare a lover to.you didnt see my flaws.you didnt see what i was capable of.and you ended up hurt.you wouldnt want your next to hurt you this bad.and i pray you wont get someone who hurts you,even the tiniest bit.

i realise the changes you made.i know you're calmer but inside you're a whirlwind.i know you havent let the smallest amount of love for us go but you're not going to rach asking why is life so unfair and crying.i know what the 1st does to you but you're keeping it in,knowing if you push me,id get more frustrated.i know you did all these for me.and i thank you.so so much.but im sorry for not being able to give you what you want.

you were a great lover.you were a great colleague.you were so many greats.but please continue being a great friend.i wouldnt want to lose a friend.i really dont.

It's the hardest thing I'll ever have to do
To look you in the eye and tell you I don't love you
It's the hardest thing I'll ever have to lie
To show no emotion when you start to cry
I can't let you see what you mean to me
When my hands are tied and my heart's not free.





surprises.

a new day is filled with them.no matter how the elements of being human causes you to deter,spin out of control or just merely make you trip,you never know what the breaking of dawn might bring.and i look forward to each one.cause i love surprises.especially when it reassures.

the heat is making me dark and it caused my tiny nose to bleed.whoa.i havent had that in ages and then suddenly,BLOOD OUT OF NOSE.hahaha.it wasnt trickling down so i thought i injured the insides of my nose when i looked in the mirror.but no.i blew my nose and there it was.the splatter of A Positives on the tissue.gee.heh.

nothing interestingly amusing came up these few days.not that i can remember.haha.but i know the brother has lost his mind.and i hate telling him i told you so.heh.my friends are graduating soon but they have MAJOR papers to sit for first.so nadd and lyla,i wish you people all the best and do them right.kick their butts and write til your hand drops and your brain melts out of your ears.hahahaha.AND NADD,I DO NOT WANT TO HEAR YOU GIVING UP ON YOUR PAPERS.i know you're relying on your assignments and projects but you know,just in case.heh.lyla,you better eat right,sleep well and dont stress yourself so damn much.i know the papers you're sitting for will be responsible for university admissions but dont push yourself too far off.steady uh babyyy.heh.

so that's that.my tp date is inches away and i am not ready.zomg.and this is a nice corny love song.but i loikee.heh.

Give me more loving than I’ve ever had
Make me feel better when I’m feeling sad
Tell me I’m special even though I know I’m not
Make me feel good when I hurt so bad
Barely getting mad
I’m so glad I found you
I love being around you
You make it easy
Its as easy as 1-2-1-2-3-4
There’s only one thing
To Do
Three words
For you(I love you) I love you
There’s only one way to say
Those three words
That’s what I’ll do(I love you) I love you
Give me more loving from the very start
Piece me back together when I fall apart
Tell me things you never even tell your closest friends
Make me feel good when I hurt so bad
You’re the best that I’ve had
And I’m so glad I found you
I love being around you

I Love You.

i'll fix yours just like you fixed mine;





one tip:

dont be an idiot and break your own heart.cause sometimes,the amount of sorrys might be uncountable,but it never works.

so here's to one more.

im sorry.





my brain abhors numbers.

ive had more than i could ask for.my brain got burnt,revived itself then decided to melt into a pulp.ive had enough of calculations and fitting them nicely in columns that are beginning to bug me.this is the main reason why i did not opt for anything relating to accounts.but it seekretly found me in forms of proposals.and i surrender.no more.please.

okay.so it is pretty late and i should get my butt to sleep.but i decided that the last post already had it's last chapter over so i need to move on.you'll be remembered.you certainly will.all you've given me,everything we made,will be kept safe.

nadd!read laila's blog.she said all things right.i cant quite think straight now but i know you'll pull through.the finals are more important than petty squabbles.forget about it and concentrate.it's your poly life on the line and im sure you wouldnt want anyone to take that away.

laila!send my blessings to your awesome grandma okay!getting married all.feewit!hahaha.i know it's a little too early but still.no harm right.hahaha.your grandma is getting married to her boyfie.hahaha.that is just so nice to say.it makes me smile.

:)))))))))

valentines is on saturday.i want to stay home and watch the sappy love stories bull that the telly is gonna show.bahahaha.no offence to those in love.but i hate overdone love stories.they blur the true meaning of love.zomg.i need sleep.im becoming sentimental.bahahahaha.but hey,dont you just love,being in love?heh.

my eyes are locked unto yours;





someone slap me and tell me it didnt happen.

we just chatted that day.and now im stoning,shaking my head.im in such denial.i feel no pain cause i still cant believe it happened.it just feels that im going to bump into you again and hear you scream my name and come running to hug me.you always did that.no matter where we were,crowded place or not,you let the whole world know who i was.we shared our primary school days together and we had alot going on after that.but you kept us together.you made sure we met.i cant believe you're gone.i really really cannot come to terms with that.not yet.you were the most loudest,happiest,carefree girl ive known.i hate asking why cause i know im not in a position to.and i hate not knowing what actually happened.the stories i hear seem so untrue.and one seemed so not you.i dont believe you would let your life go like that.it's your final year in school and you hung on for so long.you've been working so hard and i know it hasnt been easy but you pulled through.tsk.i dont know.

i'll pray for you and your family.your parents are distraught.you were their only child.but i'll pray they'll be alright.you're going back to where you came from.and i need to put that on repeat.and i never thought i'll ever write this post for a friend.never.

i love you.

yasmeen.





i understood the whole chunk.

first and last.every word,every line.i knew what you were talking about.neither of us wanted it to head this way;such a standstill.i dont know what to call us anymore.but in 5 days,it is your big day.and i wish you all the happiness the world can offer.all the bleessings,which im sure that Catholic lady could not come to par with.you're going to turn out great.you will.you've taught me alot.and i thank you.you know the number to dial if ever you need me :))

i am glad nadiiaaah has found her new love;pet society.haha.she has certainly become obsessed with that just as much as she was with neopets.haha.just as much as i was too.heh.now you go and play your silly butt off and try not to think too much.you do know i love you.

i want chocolates.i didnt have enough yesterday.i wanted to steal them all but i was nice cause they belonged to a 10 year old.and i didnt want to be some grinch.haha.i havent caught a movie in a long time.and they're all showing love-related shows cause boyy oh boyy valentine's is in 2 weeks.haha.naddiahh sure wouldnt want to be my date.she dislikes sappy love stories.but catching the leap years with those 2 was a blast.haha.it's still vivid.haha.

i actually bathed today.i am so proud of myself and YOU should too.hahaha.i didnt go out,stayed at home like a good kid and bathed.i usually dont.but i felt smelly.hahaha.damn.i need to go study.the dreaded is on friday.so please remind me to breathe.hahaha.

i'll take you to see the 7 wonders;