i am a 2 year old addict.
i take pictures with my eyes.
my beating muscle is co-owned.
and if found,do call.

technically it's already sunday the 26th..but since i kinda just got home..it's still saturday..haha..hmm had to start work at 3 cause tammy couldnt make it..so dragged myself..mum asked to buy cakes after i finished work..but i totally forgot..im feeling bad now cause it was mommy's orders..darn..anyway..cut self with a glass edge at work..wound didnt stop bleeding..kinda cool though..haha..been awhile since i injured myself..it's still kinda bright red to think of it..but yeap..

abang fetched me..didnt want papa to pick me up..want him to stay home cause he hasnt been feeling well..went for dinner cum supper at some place..haha..and im here..halfway stoned..haha..oh and all respects given to the late Mr S Rajaratnam..former Deputy Prime Minister..mann..i should be in politics..haha..PAP will just go haywire..haha..nah..i think i shall stay at home and stick by mommy and papa and abang..and bum myself til ya..haha..ok..im not thinking straight now..haha..ok..

sugar muffin you're the bomb

I Love You





before you held my hand
it never stopped raining
now you've put sunshine in my life again
and as the day pass
it's you im loving

honey coated you're the best
when we talk i still get nervous
just like sitting for a test
you make my heart pound so fast
it can even outdo the process of rust

you might not be beside me
but you're never far
your spririt pulls me through my rough days
and i thank God i know you for who you are

sometimes i yearn to run my fingers through your hair
to shelter you from your darkest fear
you've already claimed the heir
towards the throne in my heart
i guess cupid saved his lucky dart

just for you and me

I Love You





well im gonna go all out for you in this entry..yeap..i know ive been flirting alot..ok..excessively..but im not playing around with you..really..when i say i love you..i mean it..i really do..when i say you're gorgeous..you outshine everybody..whenever i shower you with praises..i mean it..every word..yesx2..hard to believe a flirt's words..but im speaking from me..and im telling you the ultimate truth..

you've read my entries..and i know somehow or rather..you wont be amused by this one..words are nothing huh..cause actions are so much louder..but if i could..i'd wake Shakespere up and ask him to help me out..yea both of us will have busy schedules..and maybe we aint gonna have much time together..if ever we were..but i dont care..absence makes the heart grow fonder doesnt it love?you've made me speechless i donno what else to say..

you complete me my imperfect perfection

I Love You





my days have been filled with so much flirting..somehow or rather..i cant control it..at work..i flirt with practically all..i cant wait for one to break with the other half..ok..that was the most un-nice thing ive ever said in my entire life..but i so feel that way..the more you play hard to get..the more i want you..i said that if ever you were to break up tell me and i would be after you..and wow..you said 'maybe'..you just gave me that push i needed..but then you said you're married and what-not..do i look like i care?muahaha..the other one..i dont want you to leave..and the other one..i still want you but im just wanting to drift apart..for the rest at work..haha..

with friends..they know i flirt all the time..and they're no exception..my sugar muffin..im so in love with you..you dont even know what im feeling..for SAC..goodness..i dont know what to do..im wanting to be yours but i dont..im not ready to be yours..im scared to be yours..i want to be with someone whom I fall in love with and vice versa..i dont want to be with someoone who could definately love me more than i could ever love that one..i dont want to feel useless and so small in the relationship..im sorry i caused so much tears and pain and devastation and what-have-you..i reallyx2 am..you dont have to go through such an extent to impress me..cause truthfully..you have..

for a moment..flirting's eating me up..bit more than i could chew..sow more than i could reap..

You Know You Love The Flirt





great..now you've made a decision to leave..and im angry at myself cause i neglected you..i didnt see you right smack infront of my face..i chose greener pastures when you were the best..yet i didnt acknowledge you..i let you slip by me..and when you're really gone..what am i supposed to look forward to?yes people will come..many new faces..but how can i possibly compare them with you..how could i possibly have the nerve to do that..

you keep telling me you dont have anything to give me..but you're wrong..you have yourself to give me..your character..your strength..your flaws..you keep saying there'll be someone else i'd fall for..if ever there was..i wouldnt be this way..you keep asking me what's so special about you..well you really wanna know?you're special cause you have your way of making me smile..you tolerate my nonsensical behaviour..you can make me dumbfounded and so lost for words..you make me feel warm and fuzzy inside..you make me feel noticed..and most importantly you're special cause you know me..you know when to flash your smile when im so damn tired and need a perk..you listen to what i blabber even if you're not interested..but you know i just need an ear..i only have words to really express what im feeling..it's cliched..but what more can i give?i wouldnt bring down the stars cause you'll outshine them..i wouldnt bring the clouds together and explain this feeling cause i'll need alot of clouds..haha..ok..that was stupid..

dont leave..

You Know You Love The Flirt





met lyla..went to bugis..ate at banquet..met fyera..bought clothes..talked about things..that i cant really remember..haha..went to nad's..but she could be at the deck..so waited for lyla's cousins..i think that's how they're related..haha..mann..were they fine...anyway..that was a compliment..just in case somehow or rather one stumbles upon this entry..hehe..then nad came cause wanted to get stuff for the sis..ha..as usual..we were deranged..talked about some jerk guy..a topic i wouldnt wanna touch deep into..yea..

then went home..that sounded boring..haha..but it was ok..sometimes i take things for granted..and i expect it to be there whenever..but when it goes..damn..so yea..being with them today just made everything seem right..so right..

browsed through friendster..and i just realised that i need to upload new pictures la..looked at other people punye jeles uh..they have the epitome of ever changing style uh..and mine's just last year's stale pictures uh..hmmph...!

You Know You Love The Flirt





haha..today was undescribable..but i'll try..here goes..

SUGAR MUFFIN-YOU completly made me smile when we talked..actually..you make me smile everytime we're having a conversation..im smiling now just thinking of you,LOVE..dont worry about your results..you'll be fine..you know i'll be there for you every step of your way hun..if ever im busy and you're in need..i'll leave my things and run to your aid..cause you know i love you..this valentine's my heart's all out for you..the crown's yours..and so am i..love you..my other half..

LYLA AND NAD-haha..sorry about the conversations you people had with me respectively..haha..tolerance is a good thing huh..haha..well..that naughty side..haha..i can go on talking that way til the next day..but i'll prolly wet myself so much i'd drown..haha..ok..that was so wrong..haha

TINA-im tired..im beat..inside out..seriously..it hurts but ive my own drug..thanks..

THAT ONE-i guess i overlooked you..you were right infront of me..yet i didnt acknowledge it..and i chose the one further..in the end..i get the tears..i get the pain..but you eased it thoroughly..and i really gotta thank you for that..no sarcasm..just facts..if ever my heart opens..you'll be in it..but SUGAR MUFFIN..you'll still own it..haha

WORK-man..today..you're so my playground

flirting's my pleasure

You Know You Love The Flirt





ive never felt this crushed by someone i have no relations with what-so-ever..ive never felt so darn rejected in my whole life..ive not been so angry at myself for the things ive yet to do and the things ive already did to you..i never thought you could make me cry..i know that with you around im not gonna be fine..i look alright..but you have yet to see me deep down..'silly banana' is what you call me..well im silly enough to fall head over heels over you..hey lyla..does this situation seem like the movie you just watched?cause i'd do anything just to hold that one in my arms..

listening to: Notice Me

I love you and I need you
Don't wanna let go
If you want somebody else please let me know
Can't take it no more, I feel I'm dying inside
Is this the price I pay for handing you my life
I know I'm not perfect but I truly cared
So when you wake up one morning and I'm not there
Just remember I loved you
It will never be the same
Gave you everything and you threw it all away

nights like this I wish raindrops would fall

You Know You Love Me?





you literally make my heart miss a beat
everytime you smile,it makes me hold onto my seat
i dont care if you're fussy or arty
i just want you to notice me

you are the reason i work so long
you are my right when im wrong
but i know you're a hard nut to crack
and i know i'll never get you no matter how i break my back

each time i see that glow on your ever-sweet face
i pray that you'll know what im showing
but i always fail and fall back to first base
then it feels like ive wasted everything

right now,im loving someone who couldnt love me back
i try to release you from my thoughts
yet you always come on my deck
but ive never resisted,i just let you attack

if only you could see im dying inside
ive not shown this to you,but you can make me cry
people are telling me to go fly a kite
i dont wish to,so would you ever be mine?

mann...that was corny..

You Know You Love The Flirt?





when you were a kid..ever felt so heartbroken when mom couldnt let you get that toy you've been eyeing on the whole time you were at the store?then when you grow up you think that the moment you were angry and sad at mom was just plain ole stupid..cause why?cause now it aint just a toy we're talking about..it's all about love..it's all about feelings..

ever had a love at first sight meeting?yea..im sure some have..or had..then you try your very best to impress..like say..using that one perfume or colonge that person complimented on that day..or blow drying your hair when you aint got much to start from..or be real cocky and smile and keep talking to that only one..but then you think about it real hard..you say 'im not gonna get this person..not a chance.'and then you just really need someone to say 'eh slowly la..you'll get that person..just be patient and take things slow..'but then you go to the best friend and instead of hearing something to ease that 'shit that person aint gonna be mine' feeling..the best friend rubs it worse and confirms your thoughts..ever felt that?yes?no?well that's how down and out i am..here..simply put..it feels like a slab of cement just hit you hard..then when the wound is still sore another one hits you..again..and again...and again..then when the wound bleeds so badly..someone pours salt water onto it..whoa..that 'ummph' kinda feeling..gettit?yea..have that everytime you go to work..and that will just suck..but you still smile when your hp beeps and the person's name appears..you still yearn to see that one and only when you get to work..you feel that your cheeks gets warm whenever you talk to this person and you speak real softly just to repeat again..then see that person smile..and with that person around..it gives you more reason to get out of bed and go to work..ever felt that?like really really felt it..

there's nothing more i want other than you

You Know You Love The Flirt?





i sit and reminisce the times that we once shared
you gave me more than love but never thought i cared
my feelings were all for you although it did not show
i only told you on
the day you let me go

i gave you my best shots baby
but i guess im not at par
you left me alone withered and shabby
but your footsteps in my heart are never far

valentine's will be bad

You Know You Love The Flirt





i just cursed myself..i said i'll get sick on monday..and jolly gee weez..im now heaving and wheezing like an asthmatic nerd..ok that was exaggerating..haha..but the chest pains..are pains..hmm..it's been 4 days since im in this state and i just went to the doc ysterday..and it was the fastest consultation ever..prolly could be in the Vanilla Coke Book Of Records..ive always wondered why it had to be Guiness..

doc:so rilla what can i do for you?

me:i got the cough and the flu.

doc:ok..open your mouth..hmm..your throat seems quite dry..lets see if you have the fever..no..no fever..ok..turn around..breathe deep..ok your lungs are clear..what are you doing now?

me:working

doc:ok..so you can go to work today huh..ok anything else?

me:(thinking..im not working today doc)..can i get the lozenges?

doc:oh ya sure..anything else?

me:no..thanks

that was it..my dad didnt believe i went in already..though he sat beside me outside..anyway..what happened today..in the morning i nearly fell outta bed cause abang had to ask me what i wanted for breakfast in the most boombastic voice..still groggy i forced myself out of my haven..ate breakfast..ate medication..ate 3 ferrero rochers..hey you cant blame me..it's ferrero rocher..not kit kat..well if it was kit kat i'll still eat it..haha..anyway..then i went to friendster..and you people will not belive who i saw..SITI RASHIQAH..a.k.a shiqa or umm...nevermind i wouldnt wanna take the risk..well..she has a friendster account..and i really really couldnt believe it..hahaha..it doesnt go together la..haha..anyway ya..watched my super sweet sixteen..and balls..arent my parents glad i dont ask for all those shit..i wouldnt want to even if i had the money..it's so rimaskan..how do i put this in english..it's too grand that it's too uncomfortable..yea..haha..but i would ask for a car though..haha..ok..i wont..haha..those people are just too narcissist arent they..over the top la eh..

hmm..lets see i'll update when something weirdly abnormal or satisfyingly pleasureable pops up in my life..cause to think of it..it's been a while since i met the 4 ever so pleasureable and abnormal people in my life..wonder where they've been..haha..wells..good luck for the resluts..erm..i meant..results..haha..

You Know You Love The Flirt