i am a 2 year old addict.
i take pictures with my eyes.
my beating muscle is co-owned.
and if found,do call.

i tried.

with all my might and all that i got i did.so very hard.i gave in just so you wouldnt flare up anymore.i took your hands,sweaty or not,and held it firm so that you wouldnt fall.i swung all your swings away or at least i tried.and yes,there were so many times i failed.so many times i hurt you.but nevertheless.i didnt stop loving you.

but you forgot i had feelings and i was human.you forgot the reasons why i take the blame.you forgot that i was yours and you were mine.you were so scared,love.so scared til i couldnt take it.i tried.i really did try to re-think my decision and give our relationship another go.but i was afraid.of what might happen.of you.of us.

so many of your entries have me in it.and it brings me so much pain.i dont want you to suffer.i dont want you to be miserable.i am sorry i made you feel this way.i am sorry i cant be there.i am sorry that we didnt last.but please,if i could go on my knees,im begging you.try not to think of the could haves/should haves/would haves.stop asking questions and the what ifs.just please dont make it any more painful than it already is.i know i dont usually talk about us.but tomorrow is the 1st.and after gerald,i just needed you to know.

im sorry about the unhappy ending.i am so sorry.

the hardest story i had to tell;