i am a 2 year old addict.
i take pictures with my eyes.
my beating muscle is co-owned.
and if found,do call.

wishes.

ive made alot of them.from wanting meaningless stuff to emotion related from another day with grandma to making time move fast when in class.and of course,most of them hardly came true.haha.but i count my blessings.

now this one wish i am adamant on making come true.cause i know it can happen.i just need to find a way.devise a plan.something.you dont know how this is making me feel.i am fucking miserable.i am filled with guilt and anger,fear and remorse.i feel like i want to cry but i see no point.i want to scream but my voice wont carry.i want to melt into someone's arms but i know in my room,im alone.

im annoyed by accusations,assumptions.cause frankly,i know you have no idea.it's ambiguous;what we have.and my mistake was to avoid every acknowledgement.my mistake was to leave you without a clue,without a reason why.that i am sorry.i have no words that could explain without it sounding like a lame excuse.

but please,i am tired of that tone you give me.i try so hard to not be affected but i am.everytime.sometimes i want to tell you but i know we'd end up arguing.and so brushing it aside is my main ammo.but it has become a casual thing.too casual.cause i know,ive hurt you.yet again.if telling you causes pain and not telling you is just pending pain,i wish you could just try to understand.

upon that star;