i am a 2 year old addict.
i take pictures with my eyes.
my beating muscle is co-owned.
and if found,do call.

technology.

i feel so low turning to this to reply but i know facing you would be so so hard.im not trying to run away neither am i wanting to hide.but i cannot do this.i cannot keep hurting the you,me,the people surrounding us and her.ive put you people through alot.ive said so many sorrys that meant each more than the last one.and i dont want the meaning to be blurred.i firmly believe what it means and i stand by that.

i loved you.i loved you so so much.i didnt want to seperate from you.i wanted us to go visit MrCheesyMoon and the MilkyWay made of milk.i remember all the places we wanted to go.i remember what we had.i remember so many first's.i remember your birthday at sentosa.i remember our fits.i remember our arguements.i remember sunflowers.i remember 6226.i remember all the times you covered my butt at work cause you knew i was so so worn out.i remember my 7 months in waiting.i remember my friends thinking i was going crazy.i remember your innocence.i remember your pain.i remember pudgy.i remember green.i remember cats.i remember yew tee and how we bumped into your mum.i remember every detail of what we had.but i also remember we are over.

im sorry for making you feel like shit.im sorry for making you anticipate for my texts,my calls.im sorry for disrupting your life,your art,your thoughts,your feelings,your mishmashed brain.im sorry for letting you have hope that we'll be pieced back together.im sorry for not being there.im sorry for avoiding so much of what you wanted to show me.im sorry for ignoring the fact that you are right there infront of me;being so much in pain.im sorry for not being able to cure you.im sorry for making you hate me.no,im not sorry for that.i deserve your every bit of hate.but im sorry for not catching you in the end.i am so sorry.

if you die before you wake,i'll do all those you mentioned.i will.cause at least i know i made you the least bit happy.at least i know you didnt go with a stab in your heart with my name written all over it.at least i know,for that moment,i made your day.and i will cry for you.im not human if i dont.and i have feelings that confirm that.

dont compare me to your suitors.dont compare me to those who caught your eye.im not someone you want to compare a lover to.you didnt see my flaws.you didnt see what i was capable of.and you ended up hurt.you wouldnt want your next to hurt you this bad.and i pray you wont get someone who hurts you,even the tiniest bit.

i realise the changes you made.i know you're calmer but inside you're a whirlwind.i know you havent let the smallest amount of love for us go but you're not going to rach asking why is life so unfair and crying.i know what the 1st does to you but you're keeping it in,knowing if you push me,id get more frustrated.i know you did all these for me.and i thank you.so so much.but im sorry for not being able to give you what you want.

you were a great lover.you were a great colleague.you were so many greats.but please continue being a great friend.i wouldnt want to lose a friend.i really dont.

It's the hardest thing I'll ever have to do
To look you in the eye and tell you I don't love you
It's the hardest thing I'll ever have to lie
To show no emotion when you start to cry
I can't let you see what you mean to me
When my hands are tied and my heart's not free.