i am a 2 year old addict.
i take pictures with my eyes.
my beating muscle is co-owned.
and if found,do call.

inhale.

i dont know what came over me.i dont know if i want to actually find out.one day we are going to get tired of this but i dont us to get tired of each other.we might have just started but we go back years.that is not worth losing.at all.i'll get my act together and this thing we have to overcome shall be overcome.i love you too much.maybe that is a problem i overlooked.but i cant control this.not by myself.i need you.i hate relying on people.but i need you.

i might take out my eyes,but im far from blind.i might shut my ears,but im far from being deaf.i might turn my heart to ice,but im far from a tyrant.things i see and hear might not be to my liking.but i only have this once to live and im not going to make my life sad and miserable.cause when my arms hold you and my knees unbuckle,nothing else matters.

i really outdid myself this time.i feel constricted.i feel suffocated.all by me.these walls are tired of my emotions.im a complicated mess.but you do a good job in untangling.and for that,my love,i thank you.

love is spoken not by the tongue but by the heart.love is heard not by the ears but by the soul.

exhaled.












waking hours.

my brain and body decide to wake myself up at the most random-est of times.like now,i am awake before 10 and i have no school.when i do finally have school which is at 12,i wake up at 11 and it'll take like a bit more time for me to know i am late.i am disastrous.haha.

TALKING OF DISASTROUS.NADIAH AL-ANSARI,HOW IN THE WORLD DID I GET A CALL FROM LAILA(well,that is not the disastrous part),TELLING ME THAT YOUUUUUU ARE IN THE HOSPITAL WITH A BROKEN PINKIE!?!?!?HUH HUH HUH?!how the heck did you actually injure yourself in ubin?huh huh huh?your cycling license should be revoked.you caused damage to some bushes,i hear.tsktsktsk.we are going to visit you later.and please please do take care.aiyo.silly thing.heh.

i am not actually sure if it's going to rain but it sounds like it and is beginning to look like it.haha.well i hope it does.past few days feel like we were in a sauna.sheesh.heh.eyy i think i need to do something with my sleeping positions uhhh.my shoulder aches like mad.or am i just getting old?haha.no no.i stomp my feet and refuse to believe that.haha.

okay.time to bathe.haha.no really.i am going to bathe at this hour of the day when i just woke up.although i normally do not bathe til i catch some telly.but not this time.i have stuff planned out.and if i watch tv,the stuff doesnt usually happen.haha.okay done.

i dont need you to know the catalyst,just hold me;





about a girl.

she didnt listen to me when i said the great world city shuttle does not come to pasir ris.but she took it and got lost.so she didnt go to the course she was supposed to and came home.she was appalled by the number of people queueing at uniqlo in tamp1 cause they just look silly waiting in line.she bothered to follow my directions to some eating place i wanted her to try.she actually made my day yesterday cause i was bored and i wanted something,anything to do.and now she wants me to set up a facebook account for her.hmmmm.well,say hi to my mum the next time she logs on.ROFLMAO.

hahaha.so anyway,i think my throat is beginning to itch again.tsk.me no likey.i feel sick.tsktsktsk.ive been hungry alot these few days.AM I GROWING?!haha.yea right.ive dreams of growing but at the tender age of 20,heh,i think my bones have said enough!i tired!but you can stiil feed tumtum.it gladly wants to grow.zomg.my bones want me to be fat.haha.and i am actually talking about them.i am going insane.i need a job.haha.

laila's post said this somewhere in the end.
alright . need to get my phone, it's ringing . hee .
hahahahahahahahahaha.whaaaaaat?she cracks me up.hahahaha.or maybe it's just me.but still.haha.EK EHHHH!I SMELL POPCORN!but i dont see any popcorn stand.it just rained though.RAIN NOW SMELLS OF POPCORN!?WHEEEWHOOO!heh.ive been high since last night and i have no idea what hit me.haha.

dad's birthday is coming up and i have yet to get him something.heh.

i think it would be cool or kewlxz if my life was in a remote control.i''d stay on my favourite channel all the time and when it gets to commercial,i'd change to something else.and and when there's horror or or like scary stuff,i'll turn it off.then i'll turn it on again.like when there's cartoons and comedy and like sappy love movies.and i am again blabbering.so i shall go and watch tv.if i see my life on tv, i'll be calling myself stupid for all the stupid things ive done.heh.now i wouldnt want that.haha.

4th.





time.

LOOK AT WHAT TIME IT IS!!ZOMG.it is 4+ in the bloody morning balls although the timing is wayy off.haha.and i just finished my online assignment.graahh.i took naps inbetween studying,i had a splitting headache on one side,an irritated throat,a blocked nose and information to stuff in my head.that truly meant,i studied.hahaha.well i hope whatever i wrote is sufficient.no no actually i hope i pass.i do no want to have another of arthur soh's lecturers.and lo and behold he will be in charge of our internships.lets save us the trouble and let us do the pick.heh.

you.

i dont mind your sudden change of moods cause ive come to terms with it.handling it might not my forte but at least sensing it is a good thing.all of us gets those days and some of us get them more than we bargained for.but please just know that life is not all that bad.i know you were letting off steam and i know today or well yesterday was bleahhh.but i assure you,your life is not fucked up.really.and even so,i'm still here.so what's fucked up in yours will be in mine.but i see nothing to be brooding over.nothing to be thinking too much on.it's just one of them days.you''ll get over it.and i still love you. nah la.haha.



ME HUNGEREYYYY!!i am turning into a pig.in which i rememebered i watched charlotte's web today or yesterday.okay this today yesterday thing is getting to me.haha.

i'll sing you a smile;





reboot.

march drained me out like a leech.the whole month was about planning and executing.it was a ball,really.but it saw me through exhausted days and burnt out nights.in which caused a slip in you and me.i had no time for you and you had no time for me.although we were together,it felt like we werent.we had a blinding distance in us that we knew was present but we had no time to note.everyday we had each other but we couldnt feel us.to tell you the truth,i thought the only thing i was holding on was a belief that you might still want to.and i didnt tell you cause of all the many other thoughts i have that you deem nonsensical.so ignorance was bliss.i didnt want to think i didnt want to know.i just wanted to move along.

the one time you wanted me to speak,i failed.i didnt want you to think i was paranoid.i didnt want you to think i doubted you.i didnt want you to think i was failing us.but it was a relief you told me what you did.it lifted a weight that was embedded in my head.and so we'll work on us now,if you dont mind.heh.

OI NAD!hehehehe.congrats congrats for successfully entering nyp.have fun.play safe.take care.and YOU BETTER STUDY AH!see see guy all.slap you uh.and pass your tp hor.then i got 2 chauffers.ahhhh.the life babyyyy!muahahaha.

mann,im smelly.

all mine,all yours,all ours;