i am a 2 year old addict.
i take pictures with my eyes.
my beating muscle is co-owned.
and if found,do call.

tainted.


people do alot to get over pain.they go all out to do whatever they think is right or whatever they feel will overcome their hurt.with all the insanity going on out there,we cant blame them if they decide the next best step is to fall over and give up.

really.

i dont even know you.i havent seen you in my years of living.but i got reminded of someone.someone so close.

tsk.

twenty first.

it is in a month.

I DONT CARE.i said a month.

heh.

and i want our plans to go fine eh.

HELLO!?THIS IS TO THE RESPECTIVE PARTIES.I WANT OUR PLANS TO GO FINE.thanks.

eh by the way,did i tell you i miss you people?

BASKET.STOP SCHOOLING AND MEET ME.I NEVER LUPE DUNIE.

heh.





star awards was at Hard Rock's Convention Centre.and taking their pictures is no joke,one heck of a job.but look at this beauty in blue,







after sunday,i want to party.

SHALL WE LADIES?

please?





he sang;i felt.

people say im the life of the party

cause i tell a joke or two

although i might be laughing loud and hearty

deep inside im blue

so take a good look at my face

you'll see my smile looks out of place

if you look closer, it's easy to trace

the tracks of my tears.





i want to go home.

please take me home.

or i will drop to my knees and punch you where it hurts.

HAHA.

i am my entertainment.

oh i bet you thought i was soft and sweet.

peter chao (thanks nadd) said FUCK YOU MUDAFUCKERS.

hahahahaha.

okay.are you going to wake up soon?





oh,lets contradict.

happy 55th dad.





i am not happy.

and to know that i havent been happy is sad.

so im sad.

because i wont be happy until this ends.

i want this to be over.

no,not soon.

now.





april 11th.

12.30am.

your post was a lie.





*shakes head*





pressed.

when i have time,we come to this conclusion.

when i dont have time,we argue.

when will we ever come to terms.

ever.





nurhumairah binte shaik dawood.

i read all your posts in your tumblr(i know i know,i am at work and blablabla but that is not the point)and it made me sad.

ARE YOU SAD?!

tsk.

why are you sad?

now im sad.

:(

I THINK MY MONTHLY VISITS IS THE CAUSE OF THIS CHAOS.





becoming wise comes with age.

why do people tell you the best years of your life is over when they're not God?

how come now,that you're an adult,you cant have as much fun as you had as a kid?

does responsibilities hold one down that much?

or are we just using that as an excuse?

then why when we're happy,we dont use excuses?

is it because we have overlooked our responsibilites or just pushed it aside to have that moment of happiness?

is that what we call the pursuit of happiness?

because if so,that's the best run i've ever had.





my heart tickled.

i know being with me isnt easy.you've seen my actions and you've heard my words.but they werent for you.and now since we're together,you're afraid i would use all my moves on other people.

but that's where you're wrong.other people dont deserve my words,they dont deserve my actions,they dont deserve my effort and time.and if i use up all of those on other people,what would i have left for you?im not willing to be empty.when im with you,i know im full of life.i might sometimes be full of shit uhh ehh but it happens uhh ehhh.heh.

i broke your trust once.and it was enough.really.it was.

'promise that you're not gonna be all flirty with them with your sweet words or whatsoever,either way ehh;promise that you're not gonna be touchy2 with them or either way la ehh cause i know you and them very touchy and i HATE it,i hope you know what i mean;promise that you'll love me forever.'

I PROMISE.set?

you're one silly idiot and i love you.

im sure you know,

i have good hands ;))

i know nobody will take my side.

but i think it's unfair.

it's unfair how all my other actions are not taken in consideration.

it's unfair how that 1 terrible mistake i did has outshone all the times i have tried to piece you back.

it's unfair that all our arguements are because of how i am as a person.

it's unfair that i cannot do anything that is worth your time because you'll never trust me again.

i dont know how to overcome this.but i hope that my 1 mistake will not be the one that makes us break.

because that ended.

365 days ago.





one fine day,

when i turn into a short-fused,ill-mannered,fist-fighting,vulgar-spewing homosapien,

will you people then pay attention?





12.07pm.

i dont know what in the world im doing here.

Save.My.Soul.





memories.

they belong in the past but they're still brought to the present.

we might think they're the best we can ever get but that's the problem.

we can always do better.

we just need to let go.

you might not be happy,but i am elated that i could call you mine.

i might have given you the best days of your life before but i cant promise i can do the same now.

cause i dont seem like im doing it.





I FUCKING GIVE UP.